The Internet Still Hates Women (Just More Politely Now)
- Han Walst
- Dec 6, 2025
- 5 min read
Sitting here, watching the snowflakes fall, I find myself feeling that it may be construed as petty to not start this piece off by discussing just how far women’s rights have come. In the interest of saving time, let’s get this out of the way: Women today are louder, freer, and more visible than at almost any point in history. We vote. We work. We lead companies, create industries, and build platforms from our phones. Hell, there was a point in history where I wouldn’t be watching the snowflakes fall from the comfort of a home I own. But historically, visibility has never guaranteed safety.
A century ago, women fought just to be taken seriously in public life, only dreaming of being allowed into it. The 20th century brought political rights, reproductive autonomy, and education access that women before us could only imagine. Social media has, at its best, given women space to speak and earn in ways that once seemed impossible. Yet every step forward came with a new set of expectations: be modern, but not disruptive; ambitious, but not intimidating; confident, but never confrontational. Do you see what I see? What changed wasn’t the pressure… It was the packaging. The tools may be new, but the standards aren’t. Still don’t believe me? Whitney Leavitt has something to say about that.
A New Generation of Dancing Stars
On September 16th, 2025, Season 34 of
the ABC original Dancing with the Stars
premiered on Disney+ and Hulu. The
dancing show, which follows ballroom
professionals paired with celebrities
from various fields, found itself smashing
viewership records week after week as clips of the dancers went viral on the social media platform TikTok. Deena Katz, the show’s primary casting director, is partly to thank for this: social media influencers such as Alex Earle and Leavitt herself, popular conservationist Robert Irwin, and other fan favorites such as Andy Richter, Elaine Hendrix, and Danielle Fishel took the floor this year… Bringing millions of followers with them. Leavitt, famous for her role in the Hulu reality series Secret Lives of Mormon Wives (SLOMW), came in as a fan favorite for the coveted Len Goodman Mirrorball Trophy. Partnered with pro Mark Ballas, they set a dancing precedent for
the season with a tango that landed them at the top of
the leaderboard next to conservationist Robert Irwin...
A pattern that persisted to a perfect 40 in week six.
Leavitt seemed to have it all: the following, the talent,
the relatability, and–just what the internet loves to see–
beauty. That is until SLOMW Season 3 premiered on
Hulu the week of the Semifinals. Leavitt was absent from the first half of the reality season, appearing in episode four to unabashedly reveal that she had only returned to the series in order to have the opportunity to audition for the ABC dancing phenom. So was it a coincidence that, as one of the most contested and adored celebrities on the show, she lost out on a spot in the finale that same week? Social media warriors conceived the theory that this was so.
The Influence of Ambitious Women
Overnight, Leavitt’s narrative changed. A buildup of hateful comments over her previous dancing background, the lack of on screen interaction with fellow cast members, and the digging up of past controversial videos bubbled up into a stew of sequins and perfect posture. During a post-elimination interview with acclaimed podcast host Alex Cooper, Mark reflected on the moment with careful diplomacy. He spoke about disappointment, timing, and the unpredictable nature of audience perception the
show faced this season. But anyone watching from
the outside could sense something darker shaping
the narrative around Leavitt… The conversation
had moved beyond dance to social media’s look at
women. Ambition, in her case, became evidence
that she didn’t deserve a spot on the show.
In fact, it was no longer impressive that she trained hard, marketed herself well, or took strategic steps toward visibility. It was suspicious. Calculated. Convenient. The comment sections were no longer watching her dance… They were watching her life. Her marriage. Her motives. Her character. Somewhere between Week Six and the semifinals, Whitney Leavitt stopped being a contestant and became a referendum.
So what does this have to do with being a woman? When male contestants play the same game, the conversation changes. If a man returns to a project for exposure, he's “smart.” If a man leverages his audience, he's “business-minded.” If a man shows hunger for a win, he’s “competitive.” When a woman does the same, she’s thirsty, performative, and fake. Men on reality TV are allowed ambition without interrogation. Their choices are framed as career moves, not personality defects. Women’s ambition, on the other hand, is treated like a personality flaw. Nobody asks male contestants if they deserve their platforms. Nobody demands that the men justify fame with likability. Nobody rewrites their life stories when male success makes people uncomfortable. To make matters worse, we know that no one, man or woman, goes on reality TV without an ulterior motive for opportunity. But women? Women must earn their place every week, every episode.
Like I said at the top of this piece, progress for women is evident, but this behavior is not new, nor a side effect of digital culture. The glass ceiling hasn’t disappeared, it just went digital and gave the double standard a microphone and a million witnesses. Women are still expected to rise without threatening, succeed without outshining, and speak without unsettling.
Progress gave women platforms – The internet gave everyone permission to attack them.
So what is my point? Perhaps it is that Whitney Leavitt wasn’t “too much.” Maybe we’re just still uncomfortable with women who want things. With women who…
…aren’t apologetic. … aren't quiet. …don’t pretend success was accidental.
Luckily for Whitney Leavitt, the backlash landed her a stint as Roxie in Broadway's Chicago. So maybe the issue isn’t how women behave online… Maybe it’s how we respond when they stop behaving small. Because the truth of the matter is that the internet still hates women… Just more politely now.
Links In Order of Appearance
United States House of Representatives – historical background on women’s rights
European Institute for Gender Equality – gender inequality and structural analysis
Earth Science Research Network – research-based or contextual support
TV Insider – Dancing with the Stars context
People Magazine – celebrity and entertainment coverage
ABC Network – show and promotional context
Deadline – industry reporting
For the Win – pop culture and sports-media crossover discussion
Cosmopolitan – gender, celebrity, and culture framing
Call Her Daddy (Podcast) – interview context
Mark Ballas Profile – professional biography
Robert Irwin – cast background
Variety – reporting ahead of Leavitt’s Chicago debut
New York Theater Guide – Broadway and theater coverage
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